emotional rollercoaster

Friday we headed to the Chatswood Ultrasound Clinic for our 34 week scan. This scan was to check the general wellbeing of the baby, the approximate size and to determine if I would have a csection due the location of my low lying placenta.

To determine the distance of the placenta to the cervix I had to have an internal ultrasound...which is kinda like a dildo think with an ultrasound device at one end. It was extremely uncomfortable..but managable.

Anyhow, after the ultrasound...I was fine...no complaints...just anticipation of a baby that was in the 50% weight percentile for gestational age...so things were good and the baby was in position for a natural birth without the need for intervention due to the location of the placenta.

We had a nice Friday night, not doing much but just hanging out at home and watching War of the Worlds on TV and falling asleep at a reasonable hour.

The next morning I woke up to go to the toilet and noticed the brown discharge that was familiar to the begining of my pregnancy...which indicated back then that the placenta had been slightly irritated and caused a small bleed. The fact that it was brown meant it was old blood...nothing too serious. But I decided to call the hospital to just let them know that this had happened. As I predicted, they said its quite common for a brown bleed this late in pregnancy as the vagina is ultra sensitive with lots of active blood cells. So knowing that, I went on with my business...and even had a few friends over (Annette and Roy) for some yummy Thai food next door and then followed by a few rounds of DJ Hero - the new game we picked up that day while walking around Chatswood Westfield...Can I just say that at this point, walking around for long periods of time was really taking its toll...I was super duper out of breath and thought something was up with this...as usually I have a lot of energy. Roy and Annette left at about 11.30pm....I was exhausted and went to bed...not even worried about the smaller and thinner amount of brown discharge that looked like it was disappearing quite quickly during the day.

The next morning I woke up, went to the toilet and didn't really pay too much attension to the fact that brown discharge had gotten a bit darker. I went upstairs and can you believe this, was making my baby shower favour bags for the picnic Dave and I had arranged for the following Sunday...Dave decided to head to Coles to pick up some groceries and I stayed back to finish the darn favours. About an hour later, Dave called and asked me to pick him up from Coles car park as it was raining...so i went downstairs to the bathroom...went to do a number 1 and noticed when I wiped a very dark brown glob of mucas..that looked like a blue bottle...but dark (very dark) brown...it was thick and globby and one end and thin and long at the other...I knew straight away that this wasn't good...it as the mucas plug..which generally means that labour is on the way.

Without panicing, I got in the car to pick up dave from the carpark. He was waiting near the lift in the disabled carpark area. I pulled in, got out and as I openned the rear door, I looked at him...and said.."something is up, the muscas plug has dislodged and its dark brown...i need to call the hospital when I get home". Quicker than lightening Dave was putting the grocery bags away faster than you could say..mad man.

He was starting to stress out...and I was telling him not to panic as these things have a tendandcy to take a long time to get the ball rolling.

Dave had to get so many groceries (due to baby shower and christmas sale) that he had to multiple back and forths from the car to the lift and lift to the front door and then front door upstairs. As soon as I walked inside, I called the hospital and told them the events of the last couple of days. The midwife at Mater said that she would call Dr Batey's replacement, Dr David Smith to see what he thinks and if I needed to come in.

They called 10 minutes later and told me to come in for a nonstress test and to possibly get a steriod injection to mature the babies lungs. I could be in there 1-2 days depending on how much blood i was loosing and if my waters had broken. Holy crap...don't stress i kept telling myself.

I told dave the news and then said to him that I needed to have a shower and get ready incase I wasn't coming back. I had my shower and washed my hair...rubbed my belly telling our little one that no matter what happens in the next 24 hours...that all it needed to do was be strong and healthy...I looked at my belly..and a wave of sadness swept over me. I didnt know if this was serious or not..I hadnt read much about premmies, thinking it would never happen to me...i was relatively healthy despite the low placenta...and kept thinking about that ultrasound and if I had any grounds to complain to them about what was starting to happen now.

I took my time getting ready...and I kept hearing Dave slam things upstairs, and running up and down the stairwell...obviously Dave was on a new level of hyper..i grabbed him..gave him a hug and said..."everythinn will be alright...Im 34 weeks and 3 days...worse case scenerio babies born this old..usually have a great chance of survival...we'll just wait and see what they have to say"

While i was finalising my labour bag...I heard Dave on the phone to my parents and his parents letting them know what was going on...everyone was stressed out...no need to be...things will be fine...I'm definitely going to the right place.

We found a carspace out the front of Mater and walked up holding hands...I felt awkward...my mind a million miles away...trying to hold back the fact that I was freaking out and be the pillar of strength of my family and my husband. We headed up to maternity delivery suite...where we were told to head into one of the suites and get hooked up to the nonstress test monitor to see what was going on.

The parents arrived and everyone roomed in the suite...Was very awkward about this...incase they saw my tattoo and of course, if they had to do an internal. I had a shot of steriods in my butt cheek which stung even more than a tetnis shot i have to say.

Anyway, the test was fine..baby was fine and I was having minor braxton hicks - nothing to worry about...everyone sighed a relief...and they put me in one of the rooms on the ward for observation overnight. The midwife asked me to show her my sanitary pad every time I wanted to change it. Brown discharge was still quite dark...and then at 10pm more of the mucas plug dislodged. They kept that one...to show the other night midwifes...incase anything 'new' would happen.

Dave went home at 10.30pm and we had a great banter on msn webchat on each others computer..that went till about 12.30pm.

I tried to get to sleep and at 3.00am I woke up feeling a buzz of adrinelin. I couldnt get back to sleep...at about 4am i noticed that the pad was getting heavier...and wetter...and the wetness when I touched it was super watery and didnt have any cloudiness...not like the other discharge throughout pregnancy...I knew what it was straight away....it was the amniotic fluid draining...but it hadn't gushed..it was just trickling..like when you were a pad when you've got your period...you know its coming out...but its not like its that bad.

I called the midwife in and showed her...she looked at the pad and then looked at me and said it could just be persperation.....sweat?? I remember looking at her in a puzzled way and thinking...i dont think so. but went with the flow (bad choice of word). I didnt replace the pad...and thought maybe it would get worse..so I left it on until the morning midwife changed over.

At 6.40am Dr David Smith came to my room to meet me. He seemed ok..and I was reasonably happy about having him..an older guy..i quizzed him about the low lying placenta and if he thought that the ultrasound is what triggered this whole thing...he believed it was most probably the reason. He also was under the impression that the fluid that was now leaking was probably just a discharge that the vagina wall discreets when its trying to repair the placenta. hmm...possibly...
my gut feeling was that i wasnt convinced this was the reason either.

The morning midwifes came in and introduced themselves after that...they took all the usual tests - blood pressure, babies heart beat, temperature..and then the student midwife asked if there was anything else that was concerning me...and I told her straight out about the other midwifes suggestion that this discharge was sweat...she said did she test the ph level?...nope.

She took the pad...which was reasonably dry by then and took it to be tested...it came back negative..but wanted to check all my pads to see how it was going. The general consensus including the drs was that if the discharge changed colour from brown to the normal whitish colour that I could go home after 3pm. I was happy about that..and once Dave arrived at 9.30ish...we started to order all the food for the baby shower on the weekend.

At about 12pm, I was watching type away on the computer next to me...lying sideways when i got some pretty full on pressure...followed by a big gush of fluid...

"Ok Dave, this is not right..Im calling the midwife"

One of the other midwifes from the Delivery suite had taken over briefly from the ward midwifes and I had to tell her the story about the blooming questionable discharge...she looked at it..and smiled at me...she said it definitely looks like it could be amnoitic fluid and she went off to test it.

She got back..and looked at me with a big smile on her face "its positive..your waters have broken..by the looks of things, your baby is acting like a bath plug to the rupture...so thats why its not gushing out"..."oh and by the way...your not going home now"

She left the room and i bawled my eyes out...the reality of it all just started to sink in...omg...preemie...omg...34 almost 35 weeks....omg...no Michelle Batey. FARK

They spoke to Dr David Smith and he agreed that I should stay, have another steriod injection and to be tested for Strep B.

Firstly, it came back positive for Step B...so a very uncomfortable catheter in right hand...and then antibotics to prevent the baby from getting it...Steriod injection in my thigh...ouch...felt the fluid go down my leg...numb leg!!

Dr David Smith came back at 3pm and confirmed that it was ok to proceed with vaginal delivery as placenta was a fair way away from cervix. He wasnt concerned with the 34 week baby...he said it would all be fine. The baby would just have to be in the Special care until it was term..so about 2 weeks depending on how it comes out.

MUm and Dad and Mum G came to visit me...and so did Ryissa...it was nice to see them...Dave and I then called everyone to cancel the babyshower..and then we had a few calls come in..so we had to explain what was happening...bugger bugger...why me.

Had a few quite strong contractions throughout the day but nothing regular...

I was exhausted already and each of the big contractions was very hard to get through without the energy..i asked for some sleeping pills and some panadine..managed to get about 3 hours sleep again...woke up with an excruciating contaction that lasted what seemed like 5 minutes at 11.44pm and then they have been coming back with varying pain every 20-28 minutes. The pain of the first one jolted me out of bed with a BANG. I had to walk around my room for a good 5 minutes.

Right now the crazy irish midwife Jacinta is back...she wanted to know when they confirmed the rupture of my membranes...I told her 4am..during her shift..but she said..i really dont think so..in a supposedly 'nice way'..."i think it was more like the 12pm time" - dont have energy to argue..whatever. She just monitored baby and blood pressure...was meant to give me antibiotics and completely forgot...walked out the door telling me I should be trying to get some sleep and would come back with heat packs...lady...obviously the night shift doesnt agree with you.